Insomnia, when nights stretch out to become infinite moments. And nights for her were similar, undying. She’d sit there, in the same spot, night after night; filling sheet after sheet of unappealing white with words that poured out from the depths of her mind. Breaking complex thoughts into simpler words and shaping meek opinions into pretentious ones. Quite a sight she was, if someone could see her in that hour of the night; bend over a notebook by the glow of a bedside lamp, hair hanging in loose strands all around her face, hands scribbling furiously as if time wasn't enough to pen all her contemplation on paper and an ever present cup of coffee going cold beside her. All she could do was write before the dawn broke, ignoring everything; the hush around her always sustaining, the occasional shot of pain in her head and incredulous bearing of hours as they passed; all too soon.

As the first of the lights appeared the stars still in presence, she looked up, skeptical, as if the time had passed away in a blur. She sighed in disbelieve as people begin to stir, putting an end to her peaceful ruminating.

-Momina.

Tyranny Of The Soul

Cluttered mess,

Chaos surrounds.

Thoughtless minds,

Details profound.

Tyranny of the soul

That haunts for solace;

A world of peace

That resides with in.

Lurking around,

But never too close

Submerging into shadows

Snug and deliberate,

Waiting until 

Doubts fade.

-Momina.

I am Here.

When all the doors were closed with me stranded in the middle at the verge of a breakdown, yours was the only one which opened. The only one that glowed in the darkness that surrounded me, the only ledge I could hold onto while everything else disappeared. You were the only thing in the midst of it all that was not an illusion. You were always there for me; sometimes like a mother, sometimes like a kid, but you were always there as a sister and a friend when I needed you the most.

You taught me so much, not just now while we struggle against time and change, but always. You were always a teacher without being one. Sure, we were different, the complete opposites at nature but we never let that or the one year of age difference come in between. Or did we?

I don’t know. But I do know that you gave me all the answers, all the reasons, and you proved all those statements that were hanging midair. You taught me to think outside the box, and inside. You showed me how to look at the other side of the story. You explained to me how the doors were not locked, but it was I, who had not tried, because they were all unlocked and they only needed a push. You told me it was okay to think for myself, even if it sometimes disappointed people. And, you enlightened me; about how I should go not just into the details, but deeper and how I should too, sometimes let things go. You taught me so much that I thought I knew, but I didn't.

I don’t know how long we sat in our embrace; talking, thinking, crying or just listening, and all through you were hugging me so tight as you consoled me, so when we broke free it was suddenly so cold, I realized how much you could need me, too. I don’t know why I am posting this here or if you’d even want it here, all I know is that I want to let you know that: I am here for you, always.

I AM HERE.

-Momina.

Red Shadows

Her big kohl lined eyes peered from behind a pair of rectangular frames which were slightly askew. Her eyes were dark and intent, seemingly different and apart from the rest of her face which was distorted and twisted in pain. She breathed heavily, her mouth slack as she tried to utter words that were already lost.  Her hand clutched her side that was smeared with red, seeping through her pastel colored clothes, turning them dark and ugly.

Fear flicked through her eyes, her breath coming in jagged whispers. Hands gripped thin air _the wound forgotten_ splattering a few drops of blood on her clear face. Her hand fell back, all motion sudden and then halted, forever. Stillness and musk swayed in the air, pausing every movement and silencing every noise; except for the blood, that continued to gush from her side.

-Momina.

Unobstructed

http://www.facebook.com/Urbah.V.Photography

She stands still in the center of the park, staring somewhere in the distance, unaware of the way people eye her. Half wet hair, blowing in the breeze, the length of her scarf flapping around her neck. Yet, her gaze is intent, unhindered; settled on the single fluffy cloud that adorns the sky, so lost in its beauty that she cannot see the setting that hold my equally committed contemplation. My view is completely different but similarly beautiful. Our unwavering gazes settled upon the sole scenery that connects us. The only difference is that I am the sun, peeking from behind those very clouds.

-Momina.

The Drug of Joy

 I have been out in the cold for far too long, I cannot even feel the cold anymore. It seems like anything that can chill me now is perhaps warm air, as the chilly breeze-that is getting colder every minute- is having no apparent effect. Rather it's like a drug that is slowly working itself into my bloodstream, not hurting me except that I can't feel my toes and finger any more. I can't hear much either as everything is reduced to a hum that is slowly lulling me into a trance. Far off at the edge of my vision the lights blink in contrast and somehow they beautifully synchronize with the beat of the hum in my ears. Unconsciously my foot starts tapping along to the perfect scenery of blinking lights in the dark horizon. I sit there for what seems like an eternity fighting the urge to get up and shout aloud. My senses however refuse to obey the commands my brain keeps sending and I sit as if drunk staring at the lights, tapping…singing. My spirits are high but my mind numb, my body moves yet I feel naught. I want to trace the sky and leap for the hazy clouds. I spin around in circles giving ecstatic shouts, I want to glide down rainbows and more, all before this crazed fever runs cold, till then I want to let go…

-Momina.

The Bigger Picture

When among all the rights you do, a tiny bad thing done by you doesn't matters. But it does, not to you of course, for you think it's only fair that you attempt a tiny bad thing in your otherwise pious atempts but it's wrong and unfair to the one unfortunate person that is losing something. It's unjust to them. And it break them inside that you'd do the right with everyone, but wrong with them.

The thing about us is that we categorize. We favor. And we do it without taking in account the consequences. Without going in details, favoring the big picture. But that very picture is incomplete without the details. Stare a little longer and you'll see the missing patterns, the place where you missed it. The wonderful picture suddenly looks very very ugly. And that detail that you missed is often the reason some people break down deep inside. You become the reason, because you don't value. You value yourself. We can stop entertaining people for a material thing but we think a thousand times before we acknowledge a person over material thing.

We need to look at the bigger picture, not just a sweeping glance, but really look at it, taking in details before you act or add.

-Momina.

One Step Ahead

Limelight, flickering
Right above yourself.
It's time you step ahead
Play your own part
There's a crowd, awaiting
Your arrival, with applause.
What's to lose?
When you could be shining,
Standing tall, for one and all.
There's been dents and dashes
In your ancient path,
But still you are here;
Nobody to break you apart.
There's glitter in the air,
Your destiny up ahead
Beckoning you out
Away from the scars of the past.

Happy Women's Day!
-Momina.

Sabotage and Assassinate

Wisps of hope peel away
Opening up the insides, frayed.
Touched with time and unwanted change
Browned and worn out ashen face
Screaming out, yearning to surrogate
Limp hands for attention, wave.
"Don't look away, don't look away,
Fold yourself into the details,
Realize the mistakes that you made.
Whispered secrets, riddles and slay
There are the answers, you didn't appraise".

-Momina.